Glee's Matthew Morrison is like, so not gay

Glee's Matthew Morrison is, like, totally not gay. I mean, if he were gay, would he be able to be an ACTOR? Um, no. Gays certainly can't sing and dance like that. Not on BROADWAY. Never in a Tony-winning production of South Pacific. I have compiled photographic evidence that proves once-and-for-all indisputably that there is no way Mr. Schuster could possibly even a little bit be, like, gay. After the jump see the proof.

Seriously, look at the macho guys he was hanging out with backstage at Broadway Bares, a cabaret/striptease charity event benefiting HIV/AIDS victims. Gay's don't raise money for charity! They NEED charity. Matthew Morrison is so not gay, gay could never be that kind.

I mean come on, check out these sweet ass moves? These are super athletic straight MAN dance moves, once again proving Matthew Morrison is, like, so totally Not Gay. Gays are like total wimp sissies. They can't dance, other than those little boys who want to be ballerinas. They certainly don't have the muscle tone to do a hand stand, and I mean check out his awesome fashion sense to pair turquoise and pink sneakers, red striped socks with those manly yellow undies with a white rabbit on the front.

I mean look at those abs ! I mean, how could a gay man have a body like that? Seriously! And check out his workout buddy here--also totally not gay! I mean his hand is on his leg; that's just a guy thing.

I mean would a gay man pose for pics with a sexy bitch like Kathy Griffin! I mean, she's a hot ,foxy lady! That's totally not gay! I mean also look how hot for each other they are they are ooooozing hetero lust!

I mean would a gay man make out with another man's boyfriend? No way. I mean Matthew Morrison is totally not gay or he would have never been seen making out with Anderson Cooper's boyfriend at his bar right? So in conclusion: Matthew Morrison is soooooo totally not gay.
So not gay!


Anonymous said...

DtC you are hysterical. We heart you.

Amanda S. said...

Did you actually watch the Broadway Bares video? Quite funny. Dances like a white MC Hammer... so not gay.