Letting Go Of Holding On

Oh may 2008 rot in some unnamed hell ! That in a nutshell was my year in review.  I had an interesting year what with losing my best friend of 16 years for some unanswered reason; having to go to court because I had a nearly 300 pound woman stalking me; struggling to make it as a freelance film maker for the first time; the ATV committee denying our OHSU grant (hey assholes, notice the recent ATV related deaths... we could have helped prevent that... just saying); interpersonal strife went supernova this year with an almost watershed of "friends" being tossed to the way side; relationships ended, new ones began. Did I mention a nearly 300 pound deranged straight woman was stalking me threatening to kill me for not loving her? Oh yeah, that kinda sucked, as did the false arrest of my husband by homophobic security guards parading as cops and yesterday's death of my step-uncle.

But there have been a few great memories as well. I have made some amazing new friends this year and have had a few truly life changing brilliant moments. I shot tons of film work this year, some still to be release (Inheritance) and finished recording  my new record (Selfish), my debut for Le Garçon Sale Records. I have shown new works of photography and mixed media drawings. I have written a breadth of work this year. 

This year I celebrated my 5th anniversary with the man of my dreams, whom I love dearly and who has stood by me through all this mess and whom I'll stand by always.  I realized what a true best friend is and what a rare treasure those are (Matthew we love you!!!)  and I finally made close friends with another gay couple- that doesn't seem that hard but us"lower tier power gays" gotta stick together (that was for you  Jon and Paul-obviously).

I realized forgiveness can only go so far and do so much. and that I must learn to let go of holding on. 

To all those in my life , you know who you are. Thank you for everything in this trying past year. Happy New Year.  We love you.

To those gone, I wish you a good life and the best of luck. 

To 2008 rot in hell, but I mean that with love.

(the above photo is Matthew Kern in his fabulous skinny Elton John attire playing piano at Hobo's )

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