Leader of the "Free World"
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Andrew Klaus, Beijing 2008, drunk, George W. Bush, Olympics, president, United states, USA




I know this has been on many a blogsite and will continue to be but WOW! I had to. This makes me want to move to Canada immediately . Irrational, illogical people who believe forwarded chain-emails and refuse to have a polite discussion based on issues instead of ideological rhetoric based on fear and stupidity. Watch as this woman makes what I'm sure she and her Fox "news" watching cronies in their white washed suburban enclaves is a bold statement against Obama. In reality she's nothing more than a closed minded bigot. I can't even eloquently express my disappointment and disdain for these women. What are you thinking? Oh wait you're clearly not. You mothers and grandmothers have worked so hard to allow you to get to the place you are now in life and you in turn spread ignorance and hatred. Obama is not a muslim, but why is it you feel is it acceptable to use someone's faith as fear-mongering slander. It's pathetic and a sad statement about the mindset of some Americans.
CRAP! I totally didn't blog yesterday because I was out shopping, hanging out with friends and drinking... you know the usual urban gay past times, however, why bother going out if I'm not going to get a craigslist missed connection, sigh. You know who you are! You followed us to 3 stores.
THANK YOU AMANDA PALMER
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Amanda Palmer, Andrew Klaus, Ben Folds, Cologne, Dan Savage, Dresden Dolls, Pianos
in addition to inspiring me a thousand times over with her punk cabaret stylings and all around beauty (yeah I gots me a man-crush ) Amanda Palmer(of the Dresden Dolls) has turned me on to Ben Fold's new single. Who knew he could be so amazing. I should also thank Dan Savage for turning me on to the Dresden Dolls in the first place.
Fables
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Andrew Klaus, art, Bill Winningham, comic Books, culture, Fables, James Jean

Was going to post about the de-gaying of literature by hollywood, and I will, I have notes and everything. I'm Totally enraptured reading Fables: The Good Prince at the moment. Be back shortly. Bill Winningham is a genius. There is something wrong with you if you are not reading and loving this comic book. OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Never a bad issue. It's on it's way to surpassing Sandman as the best, and most literate, book around.
NB(see we are second class citizens)
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Anderson Cooper, Beijing 2008, gay, homophobia, Lesbian, Matthew Mitcham, NBC, Olympics
Not in every case. Not every athlete has a personal discussion. I could show you 500 athletes we didn’t show. We don’t show everyone. We don’t show every ceremonyNBC also rather abruptly ended discussion after asked why his story wasn't profiled when it was clears so important to so many, more so than some athletes as his performance was a historic one for openly gay athletes. He's a role model for young queer athletes the world over. That's somewhat more important than your average Olympian wouldn't you agree? Well NBC sports and Greg Hughes disagree snapping in retort
The Ladies in Waiting (part 1)
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Andrew Klaus, letters, literature, Matthew Kern, michael phelps nude, olympic orgy, phelps sex tape, writing
Actor-pianist-bon vivant Matthew Kern and I have been occasionally working on a short apostlitory novel. Letters, emails, faxes, text messages, court transcripts and more will eventually tell the story of senior citizen sisters in small town America and their adventures in these ever changing times. Okay I know immediately you're thinking, What the fuck?
I admit this isn't exactly what I thought I'd set out to write for a new book either but it's liberating in many ways and hopefully you'll find these gals as delightful as we find them.
THE LADIES IN WAITING
With Love I dedicate my work on this book to the memory of Elnora Norman.
Dearest Irene,
Well summer's here and as usual its hotter than a frying pan. Long days are here and I'm constantly sweeping up the carport from all the dust and dirt from the road. You know they've been saying they were gonna pave this road for the last twenty-five years and nothing. How are you and yours? George is nearing retirement, well he should have retired from the autoshop about two years ago but he wanted to keep on keeping on. As much as I'm ready for the poor man to stop working himself to death I must say I'm a little nervous about having him around the house so much. A woman needs her space you know. And well I've always kindly regarded the house as my space. I mean I know he paid for this house but I made it a home. I cooked and cleaned and raised the kids and well lordy I don't want to sound ungrateful but I just don't know what I'm gonna do all day with him up under me like some toddler. The kids are doing good and say they both will be here for the fourth of July. Karen's bringing the kids. She looked real skinny last time I saw her so I'm gonna try and fatten her up. You know me. I love a mouth to feed. She said Stanley had to work and wouldn't be coming. Well I thought what a shame. It's not that I don't love my son-in-law but you know Irene as good as I do that he wasn't the right boy for her. I mean just the other day I saw Randell DuPris at the IGA and I thought what a shame. You remember Randell? Bessie Mae Dupris' middle boy. Well he made a lawyer out in Jackson, Mississippi. I mean Stanley, he does something with computers, some IT. Well I don't know what it is but I do know that it ain't a lawyer. But lord Karen was crazy about that Stanley. So what you gonna do? They gotta make their own messes I guess. Jeremy's coming home from college for the summer, well he's staying with a friend down at the beach but they're coming up. Lord Irene his roommate is from Saudi Arabia. I mean can you believe it? I don't know what too cook or to say ? I mean next thing I know I'll make some horrible offence and his family will declare a Jihad on me. I know that almost happened to that Diane Sawyer. I'm gonna ask some of the ladies in my book group. Did I tell you I joined a book club? I mean its just like Oprah's! We're reading our first book. It's called Rebecca.
Much love, Viv
Dear Viv,
I got your letter today. Why don't you use the computer I sent to you and George? I will have to set it up for you again the next time I am down there. I certainly understand your nervousness about having George underfoot when he retires. Sakes alive, I would go stark raving mad if Henry were here all the time. People often ask me "Irene, doesn't it bother you that your husband is on the road so often?" And I say honestly no. That is part of being married to a successful inspirational speaker. He is the one who gets lonely! But he is traveling with that nice young assistant Pamela these days, so I guess they keep each other company. I'm so busy myself with my volunteering at the library and the hospital that the time just flies by! It really is lovely to hold a baby with the AIDS. It makes me feel like I am helping. The kids seem fine when I hear from them. Rachel seems fine and busy with her real estate. I do wish she would make me a grandmother soon, but she says that her job comes first for now. You know I never stick my nose in, Viv, but I hope she knows what she's doing. That Troy really wants kids and they've been married going on four years and at thirty two she does not have forever. Troy is a handsome man and alls I'm saying is that I hope she holds onto him. Robert is not coming home for spring break from the university. He and his roommate Max are going down to that Key West. They sure seem to be joined at the hip! Well I'm sure two such handsome young men will enjoy the sight of all those young ladies in their bathing suits. They are so revealing, Viv. Honest to Betsy, we would have died before we would have left our bathroom dressed so skimpy when we were girls! Times change though, as Agnes reminds me constantly. I do not mean to speak ill of our sister but I am so tired of her forcing her Ms. magazine and her up- with- the- women nonsense on me. Do you know that she actually suggested to me that Henry might be having an affair with that sweet Pamela? I nearly hung up on her. Just because she was the oldest and left home early to burn her brassiere at every possible location on the east coast does not mean that I am naive, Viv. I swear sometimes she makes my blood boil. Oh the phone is ringing, I bet it's Henry. Much love, Viv.
Your sister. Irene.
Irene,
I hope this right I am using the computer. Karen surprised me with a visit and set everything up for me. She say it's just like writing a letter. She's pretty sullen these days not sure what is a matter with her. But bet your buttons I'm going to get to the bottom of it. Tracy and Jackie the twins are running around the house on cellular phones like little starlets. I remember when we only had one phone in the whole house, what is it the kids need to talk about so importantly. What could be so pressing? Did Barbie break up with Ken, lose Skipper at the park, lord sound the Amber Alert! Jeremy and Ahmed, his Arab friend just got in last night. Late. They locked the door to the bed room and slept half the day. I swear you should see how Jeremy is dressed his Levi Strauss' are so tight you could read his credit card number, I told him I wanted grandchildren. Ahmed told me he could always adopt, well isn't that something. Now really? What in the world, wouldn't that look great on my Christmas Card, Me and George, Karen, Stanley and the twins and then Jeremy with a Chinese baby. Oh Yes He said he wanted a Chinese baby, our family was "too white" . Well I never. don't let Agnes stick in your craw. She's a fruity one if you ask me. She's as stubborn an as an ox. I mean really Pamela is what, 23? Now what in the hell would a pretty young thing like that do with wrinkly old Henry. Lord I'm just kidding you. But I don't think you have anything to worry about. Oh Jeremy just said to tell Robert to call him, they need to talk about some stuff, he said it was "you know mom, guy stuff".
Give my love to the kids and Henry
Vivian
Viv,
Not only did I get your letter email, I got it four times. My you seem to have a house full down there. I will soon know how you feel as cousin Eunice is coming this weekend. I'm always excited to see her but she is bringing Trisch and you know what that means. When Eunice asked if she could come for a spell I did not think she would be bringing her daughter and grandchildren. I realize Trisch is alone with no man, but she does seem to take advantage of her mother's kindness and babysitting. I hope the twins behave better this time. What's wrong with them again? Eunice goes on and on about it but they just look gimpy to me. And all that fuss with the needles and the sugar. Last time Trisch looked at me as if I were a Communist just for serving one of them an itty bitty slice of my upside down pineapple cake. Honestly, she is their mother but I think it's rude not to eat at least a little of what the hostess provides hypoglcemia or no hippoglyecmia. You know I'm vain about my cakes. Oh here I go getting myself in a state and they aren't even here yet. Be serene, Irene. That's a little phrase I repeat to myself in the bathroom or wherever.. I guess I've just gotten into a snit becuase Henry won't be coming home for the weekend. He says its a busy time but I think it's because Eunice is bringing those little wheezing ruffians with her. Honestly, Viv. I feel put out. I can't very well tell Eunice to not bring them. Can I? She worries so about Trisch. I guess it's tough being a single mother but no one made her go on tha church retreat and let some total stranger do God knows what to her. Now she's saddled with those two but I don't see why we all should be. Agnes would tell me to "empower" myself and "confront" Eunice but then again Agnes has three ex husbands so what does she know about what to say to whom? Oh my, I meant this to be cheerier. Good luck with your crew, don't let those boys sleep all day. I hardly see Robert even when he visits. He's always on that computer and then scurrying off somewhere. Where's the fire I ask but he just keeps going. I have to go vacuum now. Trisch gets very ruffled about any dust near those two. Awfully snooty for a single welfare mother if you ask me, but no one ever does. Oh Viv, if our Mother could see what we put up with from these kids these days. She's probably give us both a big smack in the mouth. Love, Irene.
Irene,
Them kids are allergic and have the diabetes you best not be giving them no sugar or it'll be like steal Magnolia's , except without all the baby making and that Julia Roberts. Eunice to needs to stop depending on others to fix her messes is what I say. I am so tired about hearing about poor Trisch . She's been a bad egg her whole life. Rotten like a Easer egg you find on labor day. Oh someone's at the door. I'll write you again in a little while.
Vivian.
ps.
I'd lock up my medication if I were you Eunice and Trisch both tend to make things go missin.
Dear Vivian,
I should not write this as I have much work to do (I'll explain that in a bit) but if I don't get some of this out of my system I 'm liable to go crazy like that Delta Burke from the Golden Girls. I just got off the phone with Eunice who has emailed me a suggested menu complete with a shopping list for her upcoming visit with Trisch and company. Apparently they are unable to eat any real food. The sugar aggravates their insular levels and the wheat has glue in it or some such nonsense. Where am I supposed to find keewee? Well, this just got my blood boiling, Viv. First Trisch invites herself and her sickly children to my home and then she tells me what I can cook. Well hell's bells, I'm not going to spend all that money in that overpriced fancy salon of a "market." All those bins, and free range this and that and it smells like a candle exploded in there. I think that organic thing is a load of hooey. The A & P was always good enough for my family. I am going to make what I want and if Trisch doesn't like it she can sit on a tack. Maybe the twins will have one of their wheezing fits and have to go to the hospital and Trisch will just stay home. Then I can work on my crosswords and watch my programs. There's a lovely one with that Lynda Carter adapted from a Danielle Steele on Saturday but Trisch only lets the children watch programs that "nurture their minds." Certainly their brains could use some nurturing, but I don't know why Trisch gets her panties in such a bunch. I don't think they can see the tv that clearly what with those thick glasses strapped around their heads. And I know they can't hear. Trisch speaks to them through this megaphone that just sets my nerves atwitter. Oh here I go on and on again. Best keep this short as you know I'm supposed to be in search of some veganearian polenta.
Love, Irene.
Irene,
Polenta? Ain't that like cold grits? hell just stick it a bag and roll it, they won't know the difference. i read that in Southern Living I think, or on that Dean lady's cookin show, or something. I don't get all this uppityness of Eunice, just cause she came into some money by suing that guy. I mean she didn't earn that money her ambulance chasing husband got for her I mean hell all she did was be too dense to look both ways crossing the road. Hell Irene, Sally our cocker spaniel has enough sense it pea brian to look both ways. And Trisch hell. I'd tell her to stay home , ain't nothing wrong with them younguns except their mother smoothing them. Well speakin of cooking Jeremy announced that he and Ahmed don't eat no pork. Irene I am trying to be a good mother but I think there mighht be something fishy going on between Jeremy and Ahmed. I am afraid he might be convertin to Muslam and might have joined one of them terror cells. I mean he's majoring in Liberal Studies! I mean You know what that Anne Coulter said about them liberals. Ahmed seems nice enough for those people. He speaks real good english on account he was born in Trenton , New Jersey. He keeps saying that his grandparents were born there too but that just don't seem right you know? I mean he's so Arab looking. I mean he don't have a beard or one of them head wraps, but he's still browner than a bean. My lord No pork. Now how I am I gonna make green beans? Stanley called earlier and asked to speak to Karen, which was odd cause she wasn't here. That man ain't got a lick of sense, he's lose his butt if it wasn't attacked to his backside. Agnes called this morning too. Always a pleasure. She wanted to know if Jeremy wanted some books that belongs to ONE of here husbands, I bet she didn't even know which one. She is so damn uppity. She said I was just resentful because of my oppression she understood that. she's read Tillie Olsen. Excuse me? I looked her up she wrote about ironing, can you believe that? Does she think people wanna hear about here standing there ironing and talking to her self like a ding bat? And really is that all Agnes thinks I do? I mean lord know I do more than ironing.
Your sister
Vivian
ps.
Grit Cakes- I thought this might help.
- 2 cups water
- 2 teaspoons butter
- Salt and pepper
- 1/2 cup grits
- 1/4 cup grated Cheddar cheese
- Flour, -- for dredging
- 2 -4 tablespoons vegetable oil
Oil a large sheet pan. In a saucepan bring water and butter, seasoned with salt and pepper, to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and whisk in grits. Cook, stirring constantly, 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cheese. Pour grits onto sheet pan, spreading them evenly. Cool and cut into cakes with a 2 1/2- to 3-inch biscuit cutter. In a large preferably nonstick skillet, heat enough oil to coat bottom of pan over medium-high heat.
Dredge both sides of cakes in flour and pan-fry about 2 minutes on each side, until golden. Drain on paper towels and keep warm before serving. Yield: About 8 cake
Vivian,
Jesus Mary and Joseph, you know I was not looking forward to this visit but it has already trumped by worst fears. You know I love Eunice but any pleasure I take in her visit is more than made up for by Trisch and her little problems. They had not been here two minutes before breaking a vase and having a diabetic asthma spasm. I don't know what it's called. I gave on of them a cookie just to shut it up frankly and you would have thought I were a Communist the way Trisch gave me what for. Out come the needles and the inhalants and they are just puffing away and sniveling. Oh Lord Have Mercy, I just heard a tremendous crash and now wailing. More later.
Love,
Irene.
Irene,
Would you please talk to Vivian for me as she is incapable of listening to an ounce of reason. I have simply had enough of her inane forwarded emails promptly followed by two to three personal emails then if that wasn't enough she calls. The office, the cell and the land line- she knows they are in the same damn apartment! Please tell her that they are not charging her 37 cents per email like a stamp, nor are they making SPECIAL stamps for the ISLAMIST terrorists. Chiefly because ISLAMIST in not a word! For goodness sake she is all in a tizzy about terrorism, homosexual indoctrination in preschool and wrote to me about Harry Potter, (years late on the uptake there). And frankly I am tired of the pro War machine she sends out. She knows I do not perscribe to that paticular flavor of retoric and feel she would better manager her time educating herself and other with facts instead of Fox News briefs.
Hope all is well
Agnes Delphi
Viv.
I just got off the phone with Agnes. She says she misses you and hasn't heard from you in quite some time. She also thinks she accidentally deleted some emails from you, maybe you should resend them? I guess she's too 'busy' to ask you herself, but I always leave messages on all of her phones when I call, one never knows where our busy career woman may be! I swear to Jesus in heaven I am going to drop kick that Trisch back to Louden County. The 'children's' constant digestive problems have made a mess of our plumbing and I am sure Henry will not be happy when he sees the bill. Then again, he isn't here is he? It's easy to swoop in and critisize the decisions I make in a crisis after the fact. Their drooling and wheezing has taken a toll on my sheets. Note to Irene: stop by the Target and look for those rubber sheets. No mattress can withstand that kind of repeated dousings, tempurpedic or not. I have accepted that I will have to throw out the living room rug. They lie on it and just sputter and ooze. I would happily replace every piece of carpet and bedding in the house in exchange for a clear answer as to when Eunice is planning on taking the whole wretched gang home. It's been a week now. I thought it was going to be a weekend. She seems to be having a dandy old time. She and my plumber Tom have taken quite a shine to each other it seems. They went on a walk yesterday and right now are out for "coffee." We have coffee here I said but I guess my company was not wanted. Now I am eagerly waiting her return as Trisch has been prattling on about gluten free pastries and the din of wheezing and smell of excrement is making me contemplate a medicinal glass of peach shnapps. Why don't they ever go visit Agnes? Spaking of which, do call Agnes right away,Viv. Iit will make us all feel better.
Love,
Irene
Benjamin BLAK
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Andrew Klaus, Benjamin Blak, Benjamin Simms, gay, men, men's wear. underwear., Pulse Underwear, sex, sexy, straight
Stuck in my head!!!!!
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Andrew Klaus, jeff buckley, Joan as Policewoman, michael phelps nude, music, phelps sex tape, queer music
I adore Joan as Policewoman and you should to. Not because I said so, though I 'm a firm believer in people doing as I tell them, but because she is deservedly talented, stunningly starkly honest and above all romantic. Yes, sometimes we need a little romance.
My Pockets are for Fashion (for Jon)
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Andrew Klaus, gaycondo, letters to cleo, michael phelps nude, music

I had planned on a brief post about how proud it made me that Australian diver Matthew Mitcham was openly gay at the Beijing Olympics and what a great athlete he is. I'm gonna keep this brief because as of today everyone will know his name. On his final dive from the 10 meter platform he managed an amazing 112.10 point dive and took home the gold. Not shabby for a 20 year old gay boy.
Cazwell Returns!!!!
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Andrew Klaus, Beyoncé, Cazwell, clubs, gay, music, New York, rap, sex
Club promoter and long-time NYC downtown fixture Cazwell may have a chance at the big leagues with his ridiculous and catchy new single. While I much prefer his sexually explicit raps like the clubby tune All Over My Face I totally dig his use of dragstar Peppermint as stand-in for Ms.Knowles. Check out the video below.
As a bonus I'm posting the uncensored clip for all over my face and Peppermint's single (featuring Cazwell) as well.

A nearly one-ton (just over 800 lbs. but who's counting) 27 year old bedridden woman in Texas is accused of striking her 2 year old nephew in the head twice, crushing his skull. As tragic as that maybe it only gets more bizarre as it seems the woman is not in police custody because she is too large to fit through the door of her home, essentially trapped inside. Furthermore the jail is not equipped to care for her as she will need extensive medical treatment if/when removed from the home. Medical experts believe the woman will die if removed and taken to the jail. The boy's bereaved mother has been arrested also charged with injury to a child for leaving the toddler with his aunt.
Ah well a boy's gotta pay the bills and this way I get to be a part of an amazing project , a joint venture between OHSU and the State department of Rural Health. Check out our work !
OH! Vanity!!
Posted by Andrew Klaus in Anderson Cooper, Andrew Klaus, gay, hair color, Lesbian, Matthew Kern, Taylor Vineyard, the bean, vanity


So Taylor had a color class and needed a model, he's far more advanced than this class anyway so I agreed to volunteer, my one stipulation being I didn't want to be blonde again, which he likes. So we came up with my person ode to the ridiculous hotness of Anderson Cooper and silver foxes everywhere.
okay one more McCain
Posted by Andrew Klaus in gay, hate crimes, John McCain, Lesbian, Obama, Politics
Picture Perfect: John McCain
Posted by Andrew Klaus in AIDS, Andrew Klaus, HIV, McCAin, Politics, Republicans, sex
A reporter followed up by inquiring whether McCain supports sex education that candidly discusses contraception and preventing the spread of AIDS and other disease, or whether he backs President Bush's abstinence-only education program. After a long pause, he said, "I think I support the president's policy." Does he believe that contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV? After another long pause, he replied, "You've stumped me."
That was too bizarre for the startled journalist. "I mean, I think you'd probably agree it probably does help stop it?" Realizing how foolish he sounded, the senator had a ready quip. "Are we on the Straight Talk Express?" Still, he stuck to his muddled answer: "I'm not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I'm sure I've taken a position on it in the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception -- I'm sure I'm opposed to government spending on it, I'm sure I support the president's policies on it
okay so this post keep's growing so I must step away. but before I go
McCain Returns $2300 Donation from Founder of Gay Sex Hookup Site Manhunt.net
I awoke with this song stuck in my head. Can't explain it but there it was. Love love LOVE this video.
Master of the bump ( Kurt Stumbaugh, I can feel the soil falling over my head )
by Xiu Xiu

Okay, I know my taste in film tends to lean arty, somewhat obscure, and generally unpleasant (i.e. see recent Lars Von Trier post) , however I'm now going to rave about a film involving a giant rampaging "Rogue" crocodile ( okay so its arty, somewhat obscure and generally unpleasant as well but c'mon!). Wolf Creek director Greg McLean's little seen recent follow-up film was buried by the studio under somewhat dubious circumstances involving an executive changing of the guard over at the Miramax/Dimensions/Weinstein Group whatever they are calling themselves these days . The film was only give limited distribution (10 cities) in the States this past spring after being completed a year previous and while the concept of the film matched with it's dumping so quickly to dvd one would assume it's typical creature feature schlock.
So the little film that could THIS HOUSE IS NOT A HOME that I directed late last year has magically developed a second wind. It was screened briefly then shelved away and fondly thought of from time to time but now is wandering around the festival circuit so to commemorate that event I'm reposting an old interview I did with Julie Mae Madsen for the Oregon Literary Review after winning the Audience Choice Award at the Visuals Film Fest. Yes this is aggrandizing and shameless self promotion but damn it sometimes ya gotta!
(Interview by Julie Mae Madsen.)
Tell us about the Audience Award you recently received.
It was a really lovely, slightly surreal surprise. First off I hadn’t realized the film was showing in competition so that was a surprise and as the night’s screening progressed Crystal MacTaggart, who played Margot, and I kept joking which films we were going to lose to.
Where did you go to school?
My education has been really strange. I left high school early to attend Savannah College of Art and Design. Then I traveled for a bit, moved to
How does collaboration enhance your films and the way you make them?
Films are no matter what anyone says 100% collaboration. I can‘t make a film alone. If I did manage to wear all the hats it’s still collaboration because it’s made to be experienced by the audience. They collaborate with you subconsciously. A positive reaction is permission to try harder, to take the material further. A good collaborator makes long hours and harsh conditions easier to bear. I’ve worked with my partner
Is there anyone in particular you would like to thank?
I’ve always tried really hard to thank people who have inspired or encouraged me, my family and friends. I always joke I want to thank those who have discouraged me because it gave me the drive to prove them wrong. I had a teacher in high school named Rebecca Bevacqua who came to my house and taught me one on one during a really difficult time in my life. I’ve never thanked her but to be honest I owe her my life.
I should also thank Holly Andres for encouraging me. And MUST thank Heidi Snellman without whom I’m never have broken out of the nine-to-five rut (actually the 3 to 1 am)
Talk about your use of music in this film.
Music is a real true love. I’ve played in various bands and I usually compose some sound component to my films. With each short starting with The Human Remains I’ve gotten more comfortable scoring my own work. This film especially being a silent film it requires an attention to sound. With the exception of two songs taken from the album Haunted by Poe I scored the film as homage to silent era films. I also was aware that I wanted the music to be pervasive and real presence in the film. I hope that comes across to the viewer. I love the way the score by Goblin for Dario Argento’s Susperia is so maddeningly oppressive through the film. Or
Why did you choose to caption the film instead of using audio dialog?
I had just made two serious dramas that utilized a voice over narrator. I had done a video instillation with no dialog. I had done an erotica for the HUMP!Festival in
The subtitles reminded me of some silent film directors in the use of font size to dramatize the action. How intentional was this? What were your influences with regards to captioning?
Oh It was entirely intentional. I wanted to convey the mounting calamity with the font. Her disorientation, her fear. I knew I’d have a black screen with white text like a standard silent film. My fear was it would become either too monotonous if it stayed the same size or too chaotic. I tried to engage the viewer, but was aware from my own experience as someone with incredibly poor eyesight that the title cards had to be easy to read. I don’t think I can pin point a single film I wanted to emulate with regards to playing with the text but I can say the Russian film Night Watch was an amazing reminder that subtitles are part of the film and don’t have to be an afterthought thrown on. That film is so gorgeous with its subtitles on.
Talk about the narrator in general. Did you have a vision of someone narrating?
I envisioned it being read, so to be it’s a storybook. A tragic, scary, messy fairytale.
There is no back story. Why?
It’s so easy to explain things away. Or to bog down a narrative with exposition I thought what was really essential-everything else goes. Originally I did plan to have a scene with Margot at her office, going about her day, introduce her a little sooner but really the lack of explanation makes it more tragic to me. She was just a hapless innocent victim. Also I wanted the experience to feel immediate, back story would have taken you out of the pressing need to get out, get away. It doesn’t really matter why it’s happening if you are in the moment. All you care is that it is happening.
Who is Margot and why is she in the house?


Margot is a well meaning social worker. She’s just doing her job. She’s just an ordinary woman who happens upon some extraordinary circumstances. And she’s there because Crystal, Taylor and I had some free time.
How can plot get in the way of a good scare?
Oh too much exposition ruins a horror film. The more left unsaid or unseen the better in my opinion. Look at Alien, the discover an alien spacecraft that has been decimated, which leads to the discovery of the aliens, but the beings whose ship they found? No one mentions them again. It’s a mystery. Neil Marshal’s filmthe Descent is brilliant because his characters don’t stop to investigate the history of creatures stalking them, you know why? They don’t care. Who cares where it came from , ask that after you get away from the monsters. I hate when a film tries to explain away the elements and make sense of every minute detail. Gothika is perfect example of plot getting in the way of a good scare. Don’t give me a Scooby –Doo ending, that’s not to say I don’t want resolution. I’m just more of a fan of wanting more than wishing there had been less.
How do you make the audience part of the scary experience?

Don’t treat them like they are stupid. Don’t go against human nature. Show them someone they can relate to. Take your time and leave something to the imagination. Gore isn’t necessarily scary. I’m not opposed to gore, but gore for gore’s sake isn’t scary it’s just gory. Also the dark is always scary. Turn out the lights; you’ll scare yourself every time.
The slow, plodding ever-present evil is reminiscent of older horror films. Who are your greatest influences particular to this horror genre?
This is my first true horror film so I thought a lot about what I liked and didn’t like in a horror film ( and in silent films as well). Hitchcock of course comes to mind, David Cronenberg definitely, David Lynch, while not a horror director still gets under my skin. Films like The Haunting (1954) and Susperia both played into this film in someway. As did Asian horror films like Ju-On and to some extent silent era films like The Golem. I’m a big fan of slower paced horror. The Brood, Rosemary’s Baby. I love all the Universal Monster movies.
How do you think you’ve added to the genre?
I’m not sure I have. I’d like to add a touch of artiness back to horror films. And scares. There is a wave of torture as horror films, that are not the same as scary.
How do you hope to add to the genre in future?
I’d like to do feature length horror. I think I have a few more in me. I like the genre, not that its all I want to do. But I definitely have al love for it. I blame growing up in the south, all ghosts and voodoo and the atmosphere in general. It’s spooky in a good way-sometimes.
Did you intentionally flip the bruises on Margot’s face?
I’m glad someone noticed that. I did I wanted it to further the disorientation, the through the Looking Glass quality. I felt it played well with the ever growing hallways and stairs, doors that open into and out of spaces that seem unconnected. I hope people get that it was intentional and not sloppy editing.
What were the limitations you overcame while filming inside a house?
Spatial issues were the only real challenges with this film. Since we basically shot the short for no money, and I really mean we spent next to nothing on it, just utilized resources we had, we had no crew. So I operated the camera, crawled along side Crystal through the dark, ect. I also tried to shoot it in such a manner as to only show the smallest amount of the house as possible focusing on my actress’ performance.
Was there a particular piece of equipment that you enjoyed using or that made the film better?
I think the sets/locations we key to this film. I mean the house is pretty key to a haunted house film. The underground location was a lot of fun. We shot that guerilla-style. I’m really happy too with the brilliant job of make-up and prosthetics that Taylor Vineyard made for the film. It’s pretty handy having a make-up artist/storyboard artist for a husband if you’re working low budget.
What kind(s) of camera do you use? Are you partial to digital video or film stock? Go ahead and get geeky-technical.
I love film. It’s gorgeous but you pay for that beauty. My short films are all privately funded or have been completely out of pocket, so I shoot DV. That said I must say once I embraced the harshness of video I grew to love it. It’s so economical and my cameras are so small usually I can shoot off the cuff much easier. I’ve used a variety of cameras, the cannon Xl-1 and XL-2, as well as the GL2. THIS HOUSE IS NOT A HOME was actually shot with a Canon ZR-100, which is a small hand held. But I have gotten amazing results from the camera, tinkering with the settings. A producer at Wyden + Kennedy asked me where I got my 16 mm footage processed for my last film Lazarus, which was in fact DV that I shot with the ZR-100 down in Louisiana and Georgia and then processed in Final Cut and used some plug-ins on. I’m pretty self-taught so I’m still learning what works for me and how to with the tech aspects.
Your lighting is subtle through the film. Can you talk about how you used lighting in This House Is Not A Home?
Well budgetary restraints definitely discouraged a full lighting kit. Also the locations did as well. On the other hand I really wanted a sense of place so we chose to go for as natural sources of lighting as possible. Nothing too garish or even too filmic. I wanted it kind of dingy and grey. But I had to be mindful that we were shooting for black and white and I didn’t want to loose too much detail. I liked that we had the flickering fluorescent on location and only the flashlight in the dark. To me that adds a sense of realism to an otherwise artificial film experience.
The film is episodic in that half way through the film takes a turn to a more stylized and selective view point, then again the last third changes to a tone of resignation and finality. Please discuss the editorial choices you made.
I chose to be very deliberate in the pacing to start, almost real time. I wanted to build a sense of dread, it happens so abstractly that I wanted the viewer as confused as Margot at first, but at the turn I chose to show the viewer the ghost in the hallway and play with the style and make it very unnatural and hopefully unnerving. I personally find the long shots of the florescent bulbs near-nauseating. I tried to make sure that the repeated shots were all fresh, slightly different . I didn’t want the cheap way out. I wanted frustration to mount, not a here we go again. jokingly called those shots my evil Groundhog Day sequence. The finality at the end was just the only way I saw the story unfolding as I edited. It seemed natural. Slow things back down. Make moments linger a bit. You know it’s coming for you it’s just a matter of when and how.
Where is the voice over segment from? Talk about how you made the voice over feel seamless.
The voice over was taken from the album Haunted by Poe which is based loosely on her brother’s book The House of Leaves which was an influence on some of the choices I made shooting this. It’s a really unsettling sound bite. I tried to marry it to my score as best I could it was really a case of trial and error, but I was happy with it and it went fairly well I think.
If you were to change anything in this film, what would it be?
Part of me would actually be interested in revisiting the concept of the film at some point as a longer project perhaps. I’m sure my investors would balk at a feature length silent film but I think it’s a possibility at some point. Over all I am extremely happy with this film and it was a really pleasure to make, and trust me some of my films were definitely not a pleasure to make.
What is your next project(s)?
I’m in negotiation for the financing on my feature film debut at the moment, which is unbelievably exciting. It’s an ensemble drama about love and intimacy in Post 9-11
Where can we expect to see your work next?
Hopefully in theatres near you soon. And always on my blog Digging to
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