Love is the distance between us.

If you love a thing you let it go, if it comes back to you....then it was just being selfish and careless with your love. I know someone who is so wrong I had to let them go. I've done that a lot lately. None have come home. I'm about to climb into bed and hold my husband tight and think about the one who keeps us up all night. Love is the distance between us, the growing gap in the spaces where bodies used to be. Love is letting you scrap your knee to learn this lesson. Love is letting you cry your self asleep alone, when you could be here. Love is knowing and hoping against hope you are wrong. I wait but do not hold my breath. I hope because it's all we have. You can't stop that. Because you are wrong love is everything to us and I now give you my trust. This seems harder to do than to love. I now have to trust you. I'll see what I can do. You deserve my trust as much as you deserve love. I hope they can be from one and the same.

Resolute

Another new year is upon me. I look around and measure the shape and weight of things. All seems well enough from the distance but we all have cracks and wear scars up close. I told my best friend i wouldn't contact him anymore after an argument. I feel the need to stick to my decision on this until he apologizes to me , but he thinks he's done no wrong. It's been a few days and I miss him already. I am resolute that this year will be like last and all years before it and all years to come...filled with triumghs and tragedies on a large and small scale. We, the human race will eek out our foibles and dramas on our own stages, the Earth will turn on its axis unaware, and go round the sun again.
I am not depressed. Which is weird. For me anyway. I am very much in love. I have two amazing men in my life that make it complicated, frustrating, wonderful and some how sane. I have friends I love and am loyal to. I have a job I love for once, and a career that is budding, waiting to bloom.
Damn it Shelby don't be stubborn call me.