Me without You

I hadn't spoken to the exroommate/exgirlfriend/ex-person I cared for above all in over a month having been forced out of our home by said person. I shan't recount all the drama because quite frankly its over . But tonight she calls ME. Chats all passive-aggressively about how wonderful everything is how her boyfriend is (who's already admitted to cheating on her and who in her words was role-playing a "RAPE" with his ex-girlfriend and broke her arm. Funny as a person who's survived a real rape I take FUCKING OFFENSE TO THIS ASSHOLE! He's accused the Ex girl of having herpes of all sorts of fucked up sorted things which she's glad to ignore) She wanted to know if his comments about buying her diamonds for her upcoming birthday meant (wait for it) he might pop the question!!! OH JOY!!! Oh and can you move the last of your things in storage because quelle suprise! They're moving in together and buying a house and taking with them MY DOGS!

oh the dogs- Okay truthfully I cried myself to sleep last night about them.

So I asked the ex-girl if the small dog could possibly come live with us on a trail basis after all she was purchased by my best friend and given then to me because he couldn't take her when he moved .

Well she flipped her lid as usual accused me of being nothing more than a person who causes drama (funny I was at home working quietly when she called me.....just saying) It's all mind games with me she says. I'm not playing games. I'm not playing with her AT ALL. So as usual she says dangling my best-friend(of 14 years) who happens to be a coworker of hers in front of me If he'll tell me in writing the dog is yours you can have her, but not otherwise. She then hangs up and refuses my calls.
THis is her pattern call, inflict emotional distress,, run for cover. so this is the comment I left her.


After nearly a month of not speaking this is what you choose to do? Call em up brag about all your cooking, including oh wow soup which you hated for the 7 years I lived with you, and oh the dogs are so happy, and Scott MY best friend said "he wanted Tank to be with you in a house with a yard??" Oh and I don't mean to be a bother but move the rest of your stuff so I can move in with Isaac . We're buying a house. You've know him 4 fucking months! good luck I hope you get exactly what you deserve, left alone. He's already cheated on you, he "role-play" raped his ex girlfriend and broke her arm- . no pushing aside all your friends has nothing to do with him huh? You a pathetic and a passive aggressive fake. YOu think I stir up drama??? who called who??? I haven't and would not have spoken to you. I genuinely regret ever sleeping with you. I regret the last seven years of our "family" life. There is nothing real in you, You're just jumping on to the first guy who pays attention to u. Convent timing since you're about to lose your job. I've been heartbroken over what's happened. I feel like a fool. At least now after some distance I see you true colors and so does everyone else. GOOD BYE AND GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE! You're someone else's problem now.



I the sad part is I know she and I can never be friends again, she's done nothing but make me miserable for so long I don't really know why I care, but some little tiny ember of the friendship was still burning. My husband and I and the ex-girl were a family for years, along with our extended family on the east coast who she has equally distanced herself from. She called a few weeks ago to tell me she needs a biopsy to see if she has cervical cancer. I burst into tears in public. then she doesn't speak to me for weeks. I care so much and yet each time I speak to her she snuffs out a little more hope and love. Everyone tells me I have every right to never speak to her again, that she's done more damage than good, but some part of me has a hard time letting go. Closing this chapter of my life seems to be the hardest thing I've ever done. In looking forward I have to see myself at the milestones to come, my film is being made, our record is nearing completion, The Husband and I come January can make it legal in Oregon, not just be married in body and soul , ( that's the important part, the commitment-but hey damn it we need our legal rights!!!) The turmoil that she causes opens wounds not yet healed , infecting them with the fetid air of the past and fills me with the putrid gleam of decay. I want to cry but honestly. I have no more tears left to shed.